The Blues of a Collar

The Blues of a Collar

To anyone working in the service industry whether it be a valet parker, waiter, bellman, and bartender tips are everything. It is how they pay their bills, take their children to see the doctor, buy Christmas gifts, and pay rent. None of these people can get buy on $7.50 alone, it is absolutely impossible. If it wasn’t for the tips, doing one of these remedial jobs would be pointless. So one must solely rely on the kindness of others to pay their way though life which often leaves an individual’s destiny uncertain, especially if he/she has to rely on the guest’s generosity. But often people aren’t so generous or don’t understand the concept of dinning out, for example, lets say if a family eats $100.00 worth of food, if they only leave a $2.00 tip, it costs the server money, because at the end of the night the bartender, expo, and busser get one to two percent of the total sales in tips, leaving the waiter with -$2.00 for that table. Now I understand if the service is bad you don’t need to leave a tip, I’m well aware of that, however, it just makes life much more difficult when it costs that individual money to work. It almost cheapens their life. Now one might believe that I have a bias, because I work in the service industry, and of course I do, I can’t help it. I guess I feel sorry for them. However, there are times where the desperation of greed leaves me speechless. For instance, when a server has come up with a new way to scam the restaurant out of money, or when 15% of a check is not enough, it is a fair tip. However, it is nice to receive a little more, lets say 20%. One thing I observed as a server, a few more dollars really makes a difference, it really makes an individual feel happy. It’s really amazing; I guess it makes that particular server feel appreciated. I often say I don’t really care about the money which is a partial truth, I do and I don’t. The amount of money I walk away with at the end of the night doesn’t affect my lifestyle too much, because I don’t have a high over head. However, being tipped well really makes me feel appreciated, like what I did had some kind of meaning.

Two Sides to One Story

John: Yo, yo, yo, how’s it going sir?!
Me: I’m doing ok, John how are you?
John: I’m doing good sir… What is it, the pressure getting to you sir…

For some reason he calls me sir?

Me: A… no I’m fine.
John: It looks like your sweating out there.
Me: No I’m fine
John: Speaking of fine look at those hunnies looking so fine…
Me: A… aren’t you dating Carla?
John: You know me dog… I’m a player. I like, have like three girl friends…
Me: Ha…Ha, ok.

Speaking to Carla the previous day, and it sort of went like this.

Me: How are you Carla? So are you and John still dating?
Carla: Of course… Why wouldn’t I be!
Me: I don’t know? (thinking), because he cheats on you.
Carla: John is like so hot… We are totally going to get married. So are you going to come to the wedding?
Me: Ha… Ha… So are you going to get a golden retriever and a big white house?
Carla: Of course…
Me: If you two love birds get married I’ll be there.

Back to today

John: God that girl has a fine ass.
Me: That’s nice…
John: Would you due her?
Me: I don’t really care. Hey are you sure Carla is cool with you going after other girls?
John: Player, she’s cool with what I tell her to be cool with.
Me: Ok…
John: I bet that one is wild in bed… It’s like this dog… I’ve had her, I crossed Carla off the list.
Me: Oh. Ha… ha… ok…

My Black Friday

My Black Friday

So it was the day after Thanksgiving, I had asked for the day off a month in advance, because I really wanted to spend it with my family. However, like always I was working which I didn’t mind, since my managers told me they really needed me. So I showed up on time, and waited around until my shift began.

Manager: Are you ready for today; are you pumped?!
Me: Aaaa like always boss.
Manager: We’re expecting a lot of people you know…
Me: Hahaha, are we?
Manager: So I need you on your game today, remember no voids.
Me: (Smiling) You got it boss!

I had three tables before they told me to go home because all our guests were still home eating turkey.

Sesame Street - Waiter Grover - Grover the dancing Waiter

Classic Sesame Street - Waiter Grover "takes the cakes"

O'Classic Sesame O'Street - O'Grover the Fast Food O'Waiter

Sesame Street - Grover the Waiter - Big Hamburger

Sesame Street - Waiter Grover - Alphabet Soup

Sesame Street - Waiter Grover - Chicken Soup

Classic Sesame Street - what should Grover bring first?

What not to do

Getting laughted at

Getting laughed at

Wow… I wish I could cuss, but I have been asked to tone it back a bit, so out of respect to the reader I will. I have been thinking about this insolent for about a week, an incident that I’m still pissed about. There is this girl at my work and, I’m not going to lie, she is quit unpleasant to work with. She is always upset, and tips are EVERYTHING to her… EVERYTHING!!! And INTEGERTY MEANS absolutely nothing to her. Whenever she gets a bad tip, watch out… Anyway, I had a big tray and for some reason, I guess I was just tired and in a hurry, as I went up the stairs I tripped and fell, lucky no glass or food was ruined. She came up behind me just to laugh at me, LAUGH AT ME… As if I was some clown during comedy hour. “Hahahahhaha, that is why we don’t run in the store…” And I’m not going to repeat what I thought that moment here… But GOD do I hate her… And on top of it I was running her food, I was trying to help her… So… whatever, lol. Whatever. I don’t care anymore. But what really gets me steamed is she cheated on a server game we were playing at work today. I would have won… but once again whatever… there is nothing I can do if she cheats… it is not worth calling her out on… But GOD, I hate how she complains to everyone that she isn’t tip properly… It’s a FUCKING dollar… YOU’LL LIVE, GET OVER IT… I had a table today, and guess what, I got two dollars on a 100 dollar tab, and I didn’t tell anyone about, I didn’t complain, because there is nothing I can do about it, and it is pointless to complain. POINTLESS!!! When you are a server you are at the mercy of others. So, whatever... Oh, just in case if you were wondering, whatever is her catch fraise.

Reverse racism

Reverse racism

There is this white guy who works in the kitchen of the restaurant. He is an expo… and wow is he hated by the cooks… Well not hated, but he gets disrespected a lot. I guess the cooks really hate the managers (who are all white) so they just take it out on him. Now, I wouldn’t care too much, if he wasn’t a nice guy, but he is the nicest guy in the world. He is helpful and the hardest working expo on the line, yet none of the cooks listen to him…

An example,

(Me) Can I get a side of fries… I put the ticket in.
(Expo) Hey ummm… Daniel can I have a side of fries…
(Cook) Looks down, and acts like he hears nothing.
Two minutes later…
(Me) Hey a… did you get those fries…
(Expo) Hey Daniel… can I please get a side of fries… umm whenever you get a chance…
(Daniel) Looking down still making burgers and grunts.
(Me) So did you get them yet?
(Expo) Umm… let me see… a… no… umm… not yet, hold on… (raises voice slightly) Daniel can I PLEASE get a side of fries.

By this point I’m laughing uncontrollably… because it is so ridiculous…

Dundundun
Here comes the manager!!!

(Manager) To me. A… what are you doing? Why aren’t you working… taking care of the guests…
(Me) Umm I’m waiting for fries…
(Manager) Alanso fries…
And… I’m off
Now this dialog could have been endless… endless… but I choose the short version of the story.

But guess what, when a Mexican expo asks for fries… wow, puff… fries…
I sometimes wonder why… I guess I don’t understand… Is it a cultural barrier? I mean why not give the guy fries… who care… is it that big of a deal to deny some white guy fries… Did you get back at the man? I don’t get it… But it is so ridicules I always laugh about it, the way he has to beg for two minutes… and do that nonstop for 5 hours... It is just ridicules… But it is usually the best part of my day… Go figure…

I asked him once… “why do you have to beg for fries all the time for so long… Everyday… Why…” And he told me… “It’s just the way it is… It’s because I have red hair and blue eyes… It’s because I’m not one of them… and that is how it will always be, and I understand… But I respect them for their hard work. I’ve been back their before and I wouldn’t want to do that (work in the kitchen).” And guess what I wouldn’t want to work back their either.

Getting a $60 dollar tip!

Although I would have liked it to happen to me, yesterday one of the waiter's at the restaurant got a $60 tip from one of our guests. Everyone was envious of the lucky waiter!!! Dana White the owner of the UFC came in, he was with his wife or girl friend, and wow was she pretty... They were sitting there having a good time, and when the check came he layed down a $100.00 bill, and was like, "keep the change." The young waiter was ecstatic, and so happy causing him to shake the hand of Mr. White. Althogh I'm not a personal fan of Mr. White, I think what he did was very generous and I wanted to put it on record.

Upsetting the manager

So today I was almost written up…

Hahaha… not that I really care…

It is just something to think about.

It’s difficult… to please everyone, because they all have their own expectations on how they want things done. Every manager has expectations, and they all want things done their way (which is the right way). Only, I have six different managers and depending on the day that they work I have to adjust myself on how I handle a situation. However, it is almost impossible to avoid being pulled aside… having them let you know that you suck at doing your job, and here is why, and how to do it better.

Anyways back to being written up… like always I take a long time to clean my tables and do my side-work, because I want to do a good job at everything I do… However, today I was pretty tired, and I guess I was going slower then usual. So I didn’t rush to finish my side-work (when I guess you are supposed too). Not that I mean to take a long time… It is just, wow, that is the only time I get to walk at a normal pace… Normally, during the day I’m rushing about… waiting on 5/6 tables at a time, but towards the end of the night I become, like a snail trying to finish all my work. Plus, it takes a long time for the other servers (closers) to check and see if I finished all my side-work, and I try not to rush them, because of course I’ll be yelled at… So they too usually take their time… causing me to wait around a lot.

So here is the express version of the story…

(Thinking to myself)
Ok, ok, ok where is the expo so I can tip him out…
(Looking for the expo)
(Found the expo)
Hey, thanks man for all your hard work today… Here is the money I own you…
(Thinking to myself again)
Although a lot of my food was made incorrectly… As well as having two lost tickets… I’ll tip him well, because I try to give people the benefit of the dough.
(Thinking to myself again)
(Now I have to find the bus boy)
(Found the bus boy)
Hey man, thanks for the job today… I appreciate it.
(Now although I don’t have too… I over tipped the guy (which no one does), because he has a family, and he usually tries his best.
(Now I have to find the bartender to tip him out)
(Still trying to find him)
(He is not behind the bar)
(He is not in the back)
(He is not in the bathroom)
(Oh wow, surprise, surprise, why didn’t I think of it, of course he is flirting with the pretty hosts)
Hey, can I tip you out?!
Sure, thanks!
Anyways, I thought that would be it for the night, however… lets say twenty- three seconds later…
(Manager)
Umm… what are you still doing here?
(Me)
I’m trying to get out of here
(Manager)
Why are you still here?
(Me)
I’ve been working… I’m trying to leave.
(Manger… having small talk with hosts, then me)
I’m I crazy… Umm… I need to have a talk outside with you…
(Me: smiling)
Okay, sure…
(Outside conversation with manager)
(Manager)
I know what you are trying to do.
(Me: In a questioning tone)
Okay, which is… I don’t know what you are talking about (Laughing of course)…
You’re milking the clock…
Okay… (I told him laughingly)
Hey, it’s not funny… because of you I’m going to get yelled at by my boss…
Well I’m sorry, but I wasn’t Milking the clock… (Sternly looking at him in the face)
Now, although I don’t really care what he thinks, and I found it a bit insulting that he would pull me aside in front of everyone to accuse me of doing something that I had no intent of.
Boss… if you like you can subtract whatever time you feel I stole. I’m fine with that, but that wasn’t my intent…

And with I left…

great posts and sites by other servers!!! much respect!!!

1. Although not a blog one website I find particularly interesting is Bitterwaitress; this is a website for waiters and waitresses that explains the crap they experience at work. Most are long and angry rants about not getting tipped, cheap tipper, and stupid guests. This is a place where frustration comes out. I’ve never seen such anger. A particular interesting blog was http://bitterwaitress.net. try reading it… and you will know one really angry person.
Stereotyping Servers
2. This is interesting as well and quite amusing.
Blaggblogg. It is the rant of an angry ex-waiter who’s bitterness can be displayed in the stereotyping of his coworker, and although I know stereotyping is usually wrong and inaccurate this is still a funny website. In fact it is so funny and well written I will post some of the contents on Alex Blagg (great site dude, much credit) site.
Notes From A Disgruntled Ex-Server
As much as I've tried to block out the wretched years I spent whoring myself out to the food service industry, my previous misery continues to haunt me. Those tipless shifts, drunken nights and hungover mornings are now far enough in my rearview mirror to revisit them one last time, in a hopeful attempt at ridding myself of these awful memories.While I was in college, I worked at a number of different restaurants, across the entire spectrum of size, location and clientele, from corporate to family-owned. Some of my "credits" include Joe's Crab Shack, Houston's Restaurant, Bonne Terre French Bistro and PF Changs (for three days). Throughout my miserable journeys, one thing always remained pretty much the same - the make-up and dynamic of the restaurant's staff. I found that, no matter what kind of restaurant you work in, there are certain archetypical figures who are as ubiquitous as toothpicks on the hostess' stand. We will now examine some of these characters, and what their presence means in the wonderful world of food service.
The Head Waiter
Common Aliases: Preston, Ty, Jason, CodyVital Stats: If a Restaurant were Hollywood, the Head Waiter would be the movie star (and yes, there is a certain irony that so many aspiring movie stars are just Head Waiters). While not necessarily most powerful in title, the Head Waiter is the most recognizable and connected member of the restaurant community. He's the restaurant's face to the public, he's who the rest of the staff looks up to and emulates, he's the constellation around which everything else revolves. He decides where to go out drinking after work, and who gets to come along. He's worked at the restaurant for at least a year and, despite being the laziest and most irresponsible member of the staff, somehow manages to make about 3 times as much as everyone else does in tips, which is something he makes sure to brag about at the end of each and every shift. The Head Waiter has had sex with every female employee at the restaurant, except the fat ones, who he only allowed to blow him when he was drunk. The Head Waiter is usually out of college, and is just working at the restaurant until "the whole acting thing" or "the whole band thing" or "the whole DJ thing" finally works out. Is Sleeping With: Everything With a VaginaWants To Be Sleeping With: Men
The Bitchy Waitress
Common Aliases: Nikki, Lizzie, Rachel, TanyaVital Stats: While not as powerful as the Head Waiter, the Bitchy Waitress is still his female counterpart. Overworked, perpetually stressed out and pissed off, the Bitchy Waitress would usually be pretty cute if you cleaned all the food and desperation off of her. The Bitchy Waitress is always complaining that she doesn't get enough hours (even though she always seems to be at work) and is convinced the rest of the restaurant is out to get her. She needs the extra shifts so she can pay the note on her leased Camaro (which is yellow). After work, she continues being bitchy until she's had 8 or 9 Smirnoff Ices, at which point she looks for the lucky guy who's going to give her her next abortion. The Head Waiter nailed her a long time ago, which is an unspoken point of contention between them. Always has her drinks paid for by the Cocktail Wannabe or The Party Dudes (see below). The Bitchy Waitress is waiting tables until she decides whether she wants to go to Beauty School or audition for American Idol ('cause she's way better than those sluts).Is Sleeping With: Whoever Bought Her Last DrinkWants To Be Sleeping With: Brian the Manager (so she can get more shifts)
Brian the Manager
Common Aliases: None, its always some dude named "Brian"Vital Stats: This guy enjoyed waiting tables so much, and had such a rocking time working as the Head Waiter at a TGIFridays back in the 80's (you should have been at Fridays in the 80's, dude - it was nuts), that he changed his major to Restaurant Management and devoted his entire life to working in food service. He's since become an anal-retentive/obsessive-compulsive, determined to pay so much attention to details that the boys in corporate will recognize his commitment to excellence and make him a General Manager at his very own restaurant. He spends the majority of his day walking around and asking patrons "Is everything ok?" or standing by the food prep line to make sure the waitstaff isn't pilfering dinner rolls. Also, he actually believes in the corporate slogans within the company training materials. Is Sleeping With: The Aging General Manager at TGI Fridays, Where He Still Goes After Every ShiftWants To Be Sleeping With: The Aging General Manager at TGI Fridays, But Back In the 80's When They Were Young and She Wouldn't Give Him the Time of Day
The Party Dudes
Common Aliases: Eric, Matt, Tim, Brandon, Trey, JoeVital Stats: These dudes live to party and wait tables to live. They are steadfast in their dedication to the Head Waiter, the restaurant, and getting wasted. Their lives - and their tips - are spent in an endless haze of sex, booze and self-loathing. While at work, the Party Dudes spend most of their time trying to figure out where the Head Waiter wants to go drinking, then convincing every chick in the place to come along, too. Usually still in college, these guys always think waiting tables is just a temporary way to subsidize their partying ways, but are later confronted with the reality that they've become 30 year-old alcoholics who've spent 10 years working at a dead-end job and have nothing to show for it other than a couple of DUI's and an ever-expanding beer gut. Most of their modest mental faculties are expended on devising ways to convince underage Hostessluts to have to sex with them. When all else fails, they turn to thier plentiful supply of date-rape drugs and cheap hooch. Is Sleeping With: Whichever Hostesslut Passes Out FirstWants To Be Sleeping With: The Deluded Bartendress
The Deluded Bartendress
Common Aliases: Becky, Nina, Shannon, KimVital Stats: The Deluded Bartendress is a decent-looking woman in her mid-to-late twenties who has become so used to the fawning and adulation from the drunks she serves, that she has actually come to believe that she is The Most Beautiful and Desirable Creature On the Planet. Whether she's taking a drink order or waiting for her tipout from the waitstaff, she treats everyone she encounters like they are lucky to be in her presence. Despite the fact that she's still living under crushing debt and a hasn't had a relationship longer than 2 weeks, she persistently buys into the illusion of her own Royalty. The Deluded Bartendress has come to expect nothing less than a 100% tip, and she likes to casually mention to the lowly waiters that "one time this business dude left me $1000 on a $10 tab". The Deluded Bartendress rarely socializes with the other members of the waitstaff, instead choosing to hangout in expensive nightclubs, where she mistakes everyone ignoring her for deferential respect.Is Sleeping With: The Staggeringly Naive Notion That Being a Semi-Hot Bartender Will Take Her Far In LifeWants To Be Sleeping With: Tom Cruise
The Cocktail Wannabe
Common Aliases: Jerry, Jack, Jimmy, JohnVital Stats: Ever since seeing Tom Cruise in "Cocktail" when he was 13 years old, this guy has aspired to be one thing and one thing only - a total douchebag who throws shit around behind the bar without realizing that it ceased being impressive or cool about a month after the movie "Cocktail" left theaters. This guy really believes that the patrons of Chili's in Little Rock, Arkansas want to see him throw rum bottles around before making their Frozen Fruity Freezer Fruits. He pisses off most of the waitstaff, who are constantly subjected to his libation trickery before being given the drinks they need to serve to their increasingly impatient customers. Despite having dedicated his life to the art of bartending and being able to juggle a bottle, a glass and several pieces of citrus fruit at once, the guy can't mix a drink to save his life.Is Sleeping With: A poster of Tom Cruise In CocktailWants To Be Sleeping With: Tom Cruise In Cocktail
The Hostessluts
Common Aliases: Kelli, Cassie, TiffanyVital Stats: The Hostessluts are usually in high school, which makes them naive enough to be easy targets for the lecherous ways of the Party Dudes and other predatory male restaurant workers. Usually somewhat attractive, these girls typically have low self-esteem, which is amplified by their insecurity about being in social situations with older guys. The most tragic aspect of these waiter groupies is how young they have to suffer the misfortune of contracting various sexually-transmitted diseases. This usually turns them into bitter, jaded man-haters by the time they get to college, where they eventually become lesbians, in their final effort to forget the disgraces of their past. Is Sleeping With: Whoever Happens Across Their Nubile, Inebriated and Completely Unconscious Young BodiesWants To Be Sleeping With: The Head Waiter
The Mexicans In the Back
Common Aliases: Juan, Jose, Jorge, Speedy GonzalesVital Stats: Despite having to spend their lives in the slop of rich white people's uneaten, wasted food, the Mexicans In the Back have a startlingly positive outlook on their lives. As long as they can send most of their below-minimum wages back to their starving, impoverished families, they don't say much or complain about anything. Their one true pleasure of the job is using their native tongue to make fun of the waitstaff, who are oblivious and generally ignore them.Is Sleeping With: The 84 Other People Living In Their 1 Bedroom HovelWants To Be Sleeping With: HeatAnd there you have it - an intimate look into the employee make-up of about 95% of the restaurants you're eating at. So next time you sit down and order that Chilean Sea Bass, remember - these are the people who are preparing it for you.

3. rlserver is actually a true blog which I hope to start posting my rebuttals on. I can certainly relate working at a corporate restaurant. It is funny how most of the blogs I look at are mostly about servers not being tipped accordingly, here is an example which I found from the above site.
easy tip: take 10% of the total price of the ticket and then double it.$50.00 tab = $5.00 x 2 = $10.00 would be an alright tip.The next time you're out eating at a resturant, look at your server. Do you think they are really happy to be doing that job? The answer is no, they are not, but it's what we do, and we do it for the money so please help them out. Its a tougher job than you think and you should pay them accordingly!There are SO many people out there flooding the restaurants w/o any knowledge of how to tip. Here is a short guide for the general public to follow. Feel free to print out and store in your wallet and/or purse.
Now, although I am like every waiter and I like to receive a good tip… I understand tipping isn’t everything.
4. http://www.allprowaiter.blogspot.com/ who’s title is The insane waiter is another site I intend to monitor. And wow he is angry, and what an elitist. It is as if he has never made a mistake. I would definitely give this guy a chill-pill. So what dude you didn’t get tipped calm down. It isn’t the end of the world, although I must complement him on his wittiness, writing ability. I would definitely recommend this site for its humor, lol.
5. Server stories is another great blog, and sob story… haha… Although it doesn’t look like he/she is still posting.
6. I serve idiots is an on going blog, about another complaining waiter not being tipped

blog rules

Just posting my blog rules... which I hope to honor.


Rules to Restaurant Blog

1. The posts on my blog must be work oriented, illustrating what goes on behind the scenes of a restaurant. The blog should describe what I did at work or any funny work antics that might be interesting to the reader.
2. I must post a blog entry at least once a week. However, I will try my best to post more blog entries as time passes.
3. The posts must be interesting… well as interesting as I can possibly make them.
4. There must be interesting links to my blog in hopes of internet readership going up.
5. In order to protect the identities of the people I work with, I will change their names if the situation calls for it (when I see fit) as well as the name of the restaurant I’m writing about so that no one gets their feelings hurt.
6. Educating the public of the behind the scene-antics of a restaurant. I hope to write a piece that is interesting so that I might gain a large readership… This would be the best way to educate people on what goes on behind the scene of a restaurant.

My Fight

My whole life I have been one to avoid confrontation, however, last night at work I did a piss poor job of doing so. I don’t know what has been wrong with me, but for the past few months I can’t get anything going. I mope round in a depressed state, hoping for things to get better, however, things seem to either stay the same or get gradually worst. I’m starting to believe it is because I take life too seriously.

It could have been only sleeping two hours the night before… It could have been the stress from the past week dealing with midterms… it could have been that I was the only server at a big restaurant for the opening hour… the fact that I was being double sat throughout the whole evening… it could have been the stress of a failing relationship and/or it could have been because I am an ass hole. But today I blew up at another server when it was uncalled for. I normally consider myself the 007 of servers, cool and calm, never showing emotion, however, yesterday a young server just got to me. He kept aggregating me the whole night about stupid shit, on top of showing up an hour and a half late resulting in me having to take care of the whole restaurant by myself, having been the opener and all.

First incident (that pisses me off): John shows up over an hour late causing me to hustle two times as hard (which I don’t mind).

Second incident:

He: Yo, man, whatz cracken dog.
Me: Nothing, I’m just working.
He: Hey, man I got hair late… u mind if I might work a little later, you go home early, maybe I can make a little extra money, or something something….
Me: I’m actually going to be the first one to go home, because I was the first one here… I can’t stay, because I will go over five hours, I’m sorry.
He: Yo, man you suck… I see how it is... Playing a brother like that… fuck that man…

I guess this is how it started:

Normally, I tend to be much more playful. John is one of these guys who is black, but only on the inside. Although I understand that it is politically incorrect to state what I just did; it is the simplest way of put things. He is a white boy who loves so speak ebonics. And although I don’t have a problem with that, half of the time I have trouble understanding him. “Yo, check out dem Pigeon headed hoz.” I still don’t know what that means. It is easier for me to understand the girl from Saudi Arabia then it is to understand John.

Third incident: Yo man guess what man u beenen graded right now… and your going to fail… because you suck.

Four incident: Hey I just finished talking to George. Your fail… he told me your too slow dog… Your like a fucking snail.

Fifth incident: Man they are going to fire your ass, because you been a shitty server.

Sixth incident: …

Seventh incident: …

After the seventh incident: John… shut the fuck up. I had lost my cool…

John: Dude just because your big you think you can push me around… Man I can fight, I I might be small, but I can kick your ass.

I never got this… I somehow became the antagonist in this whole thing… the other servers were looking at me as if I was a bully when all I wanted was him to quit with his childish, BULL SHIT.

Me: if you want we can step outside.

And with that comment I realized I was no different from Anthony from the previous week. Who was I to judge him… who was I to tell him it wasn’t worth it… when for a split second I too had lost my cool.

Although I had no intensions of fighting… I continued to get bothered by John… Man you ready to step outside… I’m ready… However, I just ignored him.

Later that evening, when my shift had ended I sat down at a table with Anthony.
Me: So are you going to watch that Patriots game tomorrow.
Him: you bet I am…

And with that we talked about football.

A fight on the line

10-28-07

A fight on the line

Today I walked in front of an argument that our expo (Jose) and one of the servers Anthony were having, and how interesting that was. Although I wasn’t aware of it before there has been bad blood between these two for awhile. They just happen to both be infatuated with the same girl which has naturally caused a rivalry. I mean there was yelling behind the mainline (where the servers like myself go and get the food) that you wouldn’t believe.
Anthony: “What the fuck man! Why is my food going out so late?
Jose: Get out of my face… Fuck you!
Anthony: “Hey, if you want to step outside right now I’m game.
Anthony, in the classic sense is a typical jock, very muscular, athletic, and brazen. Instead of settling a matter like a wise man, through words he is one to result to violence. However, his threats ended the conversation, because unlike Jose, Anthony can backup his violent threat. Later on that evening, while we both were rolling up silverware I asked, Anthony, “what happened man?”
“A… just the typical.”
“What do you mean?”
“Jose wasn’t running my food on time, dude.”
“Oh?” I mentioned in surprise. “Was it really that big of a deal? Is it really worth getting in a fight over?”
“Well it was a twenty minute ticket time!”
“And it (food) had been sitting there for 10 minutes!”
With that I dropped the conversation, because I thought there was no point pressing him on such a confrontation. I didn’t want to take sides, and end up with a 20 minute ticket times myself, or worst in a back ally brawl with a buffed out football player.
“Dude… I don’t know why people here are such dicks.”
“Oh… what do you mean?”
“Fuck, man, yesterday I was written up by Rich… because that fag Nate… tattled on me… what kind of gay shit is that.”
“I couldn’t help, but chuckle a little. You know Anthony it isn’t worth it you know. Sometimes you just have to kiss people’s asses.”
“What do you mean dude?”
“Well the bartender doesn’t like you, Jose (the expo) is pissed at you, I mean your food and drinks are never going to get made at this rate.
“Dude don’t worry about it, I got the bartender in check (had threatened the bartender previously). Come on dude, the guests come first what are they going to do not make the drinks, and food. Then management will be on there asses.”
“Well, I guess if that works for you, that is fine by me.”
I’ll see if his predictions come true.

Flirting with guests

10/26/07

The ladies seem to love me, however, they are always a little bit older then I am, by 30 or so years, which is not always a bad thing. I often hear things like, you are so adorable, I wish I could take you home. This usually causes me to laugh, and I enjoy and welcome their attention. Even more humorous is if they happen to be dinning out with their husband, and the female patron flirts with me while her husband stares at me, then her. In these types of circumstance it is very important to read your guests, to see if they both are laughing. I sometimes wonder if their home lives are in order (which is none of business), and possibly the woman’s husband is no longer affectionate with their wife, because behind every joke there is a bit of truth. But I always try to have a good time joking around with my guests, I really care that they are satisfied with their dinning experience. And if they are you will be rewarded for it. It is important to note I never forget to include the husbands in on the joke, because they might be paying. “Well I don’t know if this gentleman here would be particularly okay with that Miss?”
“Oh, he will be just fine with it.”
And the conversation is usually followed by more laughter. Now I could consider this harassment, but I usually know it is a joke. It is nothing, but fun, however, it is important to gage every individual at every table to insure they are comfortable. This will lead to a happy dinning experience.

Sexual tension in the work place

10/24/07
Sexual tension in the work place

One of the funniest things about working in a restaurant is everyone, managers, servers, bussers, man, and women all act like pubescent teenagers. It’s really interesting how males try and get a woman's attention, and how the girls respond to there male counterparts. This makes for an extremely unprofessional environment. There is usually a conversation between two individuals, usually male and female, flirting occurs, the male usually tries to make the female laugh, and then there is physical contact, the touching of hair, waist and stomach occur, and in some extreme circumstances the touching might be more sexual. To be blunt, this is all going on in the back while you eat your food. I once asked one of my coworkers about all this flirtation and if it was considered sexual harassment. He informed me that the unwritten code of a restaurant changes the laws of sexual harassment. To this date it is unclear to me what those unwritten codes are. But to be safe I do not participate in any of this conduct. However, it is interesting to watch. I particularly remember an instance where a manager referred, told me to, and I quote, “to check out the ass on her.” Although I don’t necessarily like what goes on in the back of the restaurant there is nothing I can do to change it, because of the unwritten code.

Important to tip

Important to tip

When dinning out it is important to tip, although I am a waiter and might have my own biases, it just makes the waiter’s day a whole lot better. There have been countless amounts of times where waitresses and waiters have come up to me and tell me what bad tips they’ve made, they might have to quit, and go find a new job. For me what the waiter’s said about a particular “cheap” guest after he or she might leave is humorous. The waiter might, yell, talk trash, be upset for giving them so many drinks, or even take it out on another waiter. However, racial slurs are the most common which is uncalled for. I often have to pull people aside and tell them, "hey I understand you are upset, but that's not cool." Which is usually followed up by a a defensive rebutal of not being a racist. I usually drop it after that, however, many remakes made by the people I work with bother me. However, I would believe that this is common in a blue collar envirment. Most people might think waiters might make a lot of money from tips, and that is true compared to most 8 to 5 jobs. But the truth is waiters don’t get to keep all the money that they earn. After one gets off his or her shift there is a process of tipping out. Which means I have to give the busser, the expo (the guy that makes sure your food is right), and bar tender money for making my life a lot easier. So lets say if I made $100 in tips, but I sold 700 worth of food. I have to tip the bar tender and expo 1% of my sales which would be 7 dollars, and the Bussers 2% of my over all sales or 14 dollars. So at the end of the night I really make 72 dollars. Just remember when eating out one or two extra dollars goes a long way.

When a restaurant gets busy

10/20/07
When a restaurant gets busy

It’s funny when people come to a restaurant they always expect things to be done as fast as possible although there server might be busy with 7 to 8 tables. I always feel like I’m juggling tables, dishes, cups, hospitality, management, and guests. “Sir, can I have more lemonade,” one table might ask. Another table might be like, “hey we asked for a high chair 15 minutes ago where is it. The most important thing about being a waiter is to always have a good attitude. “Ummm… can I please speak to your manager.” Well at table 209 they at least said please. “A... we need more sauce over here.” Like I was saying, It’s important to keep a good attitude. I’ve asked you can we get some more sauce over here!!!” “Can we please speak to the management!!!” “Still need more lemonade.” “More sauce, more sauce, more sauce, more sauce. Now, an individual might ask why be a server, the most common responses are the money is good, the hours are good, and you get paid that night, and I’ve often thought to myself is the money really that good, and for a student working his way through college the money isn’t all that bad. I remember in Barbara Ehrenreich’s book Nickel and Dimmed, which is a requirement for many universities across the United States, Ehrenreich was unable to substantiate a living wage. Now I would not recommend anyone make a career out of serving, but I would have to argue with her that it is possible to earn a living wage off of serving. To prove this I have done a little bit of math. Although I only make minimum wage, $7.50 I average about $70 in tips a night, and working five nights a week that is $537.50, multiply that by four and you get $2150, and by twelve months that is $25800.00 more than enough money to live off of (if one spends his money frugally and has roommates), and depending on the restaurant an individual servers at the money only gets better. Now if you have a family it might be far more difficult to earn a substantial living wage. Fortunately that is not my case.